It's Still Not Okay To Be Gay

Dear Leaders and Dreamers,

If you think that because Australia has legalised gay marriage and hosts one of the world's largest queer pride celebrations at Sydney Mardi Gras that our job as citizens, friends, colleagues, and leaders is done, you’re sadly mistaken.

Homophobia is still alive and well, and in many cases, it could be within your organisation. As a leader, is it your duty to allow it, condone it, or ignore it? Put duty aside for a moment, and ask yourself: if you had a choice on how you could show up for people within the queer community in your workplace, how would you do that?

This week I read about an Australian brand called Proud Poppy Clothing, which hosted a pride night at its Robina Town Centre store. It was a night to create a safe space for trans and gender-diverse people to mingle and enjoy the beautiful, quirky, and colourful collection created by founder Tara Mckeon. The brand promoted the night on social media and was immediately met with negative backlash in an onslaught of comments. I don't know Tara, but I had goosebumps reading the story published in Ragtrader because Tara made a choice. She showed up, stood up, and continued creating safe spaces for trans and gender-diverse people to come together. Why? Because people still don't understand the trans and gender-diverse community, and what you don't understand, you often dismiss, criticise, or have an unconscious bias toward. These behaviours lead to people in the LGBTQI+ community feeling unsafe and ostracised by their community. That community could be their school, their friendship circle, their workplace, or the brands they love to wear. Yes, brands have created communities—think Black Milk Clothing right here in Australia, and of course, Nike.

While we have come a long way in creating better cultural norms for accepting the LGBTQI+ community and legalising love as a human right, not a heterosexual or religious privilege, we’ve got a long way to go. This month is/was Pride Month, and it exists for a reason. It’s still not universally okay to be gay. We still have work to do in our communities, including our workplaces. Ask yourself, “as a leader how do I want to show up for my community”?

Not everyone has it as easy as I did. I came out when I was 18. My parents, church and friends all accepted me, and most high-fived me, knowing they won bets placed when I was 13 and developed my first girl crush (insert Christina Aguilera - "Genie In A Bottle"). I was lucky, but that doesn't mean everyone is. I need to remind myself that while I've been blessed and accepted by those in my close circle, I have also been in many workplace settings where my sexuality has made me feel judged. “Because she’s gay, she won't have kids." As a woman who has always identified as a lesbian in my working career, there have been times when I have felt alone and isolated. It's hard to explain. I don't always have the words to understand myself, and I certainly don't have the words to understand those around me, but what I can do is show up.

If you are reading this today and you’re not as lucky as I am, I see you. I want you to know that you are not alone, and even though it's scary, I hope you can find a way to be your true self. I hope we as leaders can create better workplaces where you feel safe, seen, and respected.

If you are reading this as a leader today, did you show up in your workplace this month to acknowledge your teams, customers and community? There’s still tomorrow, and you can still choose to show up. How you show up is up to you. It's not a policy, it's not a handbook, it’s not a script. I don't have tips and tricks this week. I just want you to stop and think about how you, as a leader and a dreamer, show up for your community.

With gentle determination,

Nadia

Take Away: Be more like Tara Mckeon